The Love Languages of the Past: How Historical Romantics Wooed Their Sweethearts
The Love Languages of the Past: How Historical Romantics Wooed Their Sweethearts
Today, Valentine's Day often includes chocolates, roses, and dinner reservations, but love wasn't always celebrated with grand gestures or diamond rings. Throughout history, people expressed their affection in unique, poetic, and sometimes peculiar ways. If you've ever wondered how romance looked before text messages and candlelit restaurants, here's a journey through some of the most fascinating love languages of the past—and how to incorporate them into your modern love story.
1. Love Letters & Secret Messages – The Art of the Written Word
In an era when public displays of affection were often frowned upon, lovers found ways to communicate their feelings in writing—from secret letters passed between the folds of a book to coded messages written in lemon juice (which would only appear when heated). Expressing love required creativity and patience.
How to Bring It Back: Instead of sending a quick text, write a heartfelt handwritten letter to your loved one. Create a scavenger hunt of love notes hidden throughout their Day.
2. Fan Language & Glove Flirting – The 18th and 19th Century’s Silent Courtship
Before smartphones allowed instant communication, romance relied on subtle gestures. In the 18th century, women used hand fans to send messages—slowly opening a fan could mean "Wait for me," while snapping it shut meant "Leave me alone." Similarly, in Victorian England, gloves played a role in flirting; dropping a glove meant an invitation to courtship, and wearing a glove inside out was a sign of rejection.
How to Bring It Back: Create your own secret signals with your partner. Whether it's a playful wink across the room or a tap on the shoulder with a personal meaning, make communication an art again.
3. The Language of Flowers – Every Bloom Had a Meaning
Flowers weren't just beautiful in the Victorian era—they spoke volumes. A red rose symbolized passionate love, while a yellow rose signified jealousy. A bouquet of forget-me-nots was a request to be remembered. Suitors carefully curated floral messages to express feelings that words could not.
How to Bring It Back: Craft one that tells a story instead of grabbing a standard bouquet. Research floriography (the language of flowers) and design an arrangement with hidden meanings for your sweetheart.
4. Poetry & Serenades – The Music of Romance
For centuries, poetry was the language of love. Shakespeare wrote sonnets for his muse, and troubadours of the Middle Ages composed songs dedicated to their beloved. A well-penned verse could make hearts swoon more than any extravagant gift.
How to Bring It Back: Don't worry, you don't have to be Shakespeare! Write a short poem, even if it's playful and silly. Or, make a custom playlist filled with songs representing your relationship's journey.
5. Lockets & Love Tokens – Carrying a Piece of Love
In the Renaissance and Victorian eras, lovers exchanged lockets containing a miniature portrait or a lock of hair as a keepsake. These sentimental treasures were kept close to the heart as a tangible reminder of love.
How to Bring It Back: Gift a modern-day locket with a meaningful photo or an engraved charm representing your connection. If jewelry isn't your style, consider a small, personal token like a keychain or an item with sentimental value.
6. Handfasting & Binding Rituals – Tying the Knot, Literally
In medieval times, before formal marriage ceremonies, couples engaged in handfasting—a ritual where their hands were tied together with a ribbon to symbolize their union. This practice is where we get the phrase "tying the knot."
How to Bring It Back: Plan a symbolic handfasting ceremony as a romantic vow renewal or private gesture of commitment, even if it's just for fun.
7. Love Knots & Puzzle Rings – The Art of Symbolism
In the 16th century, puzzle rings were given as engagement symbols. If removed, they would fall apart, making it clear if the wearer had taken them off. Similarly, love knots were symbols of eternity and devotion, often woven into embroidery, letters, or jewelry.
How to Bring It Back: Surprise your partner with a love knot bracelet or an engraved message in a creative way, like inside a book or hidden within a piece of art.
8. The Courtly Love Tradition – Romance with a Dash of Chivalry
Medieval knights dedicated their victories to their chosen ladies, often wearing their colors in battle. Love was seen as a noble pursuit, with admiration and service paramount.
How to Bring It Back: Plan a grand (or humorous) gesture of devotion—cooking their favorite meal, surprising them with an adventure, or even writing a playful "knightly oath" declaring your loyalty.
Modern-Day Takeaway: Love is in the Details
Romance doesn't have to be extravagant or expensive—it just needs to be meaningful. History lovers found beauty in words, symbols, and small gestures, many of which can be revived today. Whether you write a love letter, gift a meaningful bouquet, or invent your own secret code, channeling the romance of the past can make this Valentine's Day truly unforgettable.
Which of these historical love languages speaks to you the most? Try one out and add a little old-world charm to your modern romance!
Do you want to know what each flower means?
Find out with the book "Flowers and Their Meanings: The Secret Language and History of Over 600 Blooms" (A Flower Dictionary)

Sending flowers can be more fun when you know what flowers to send. You might include a note explaining each flower's meaning and why you selected it for your special someone.
Use The Flower Dictionary https://amzn.to/40MA5QN
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